One Muffin Top Please

****Posted by Nicole

It’s a well known fact that I don't have a butt. This is something I have known many years thanks to the fact that the beloved nick name needle-butt was given to me at the age of 8 by a certain family member. Not naming any names, but you know who you are!
Because of this affliction, I have learned to look for certain types of pants that will create the illusion of a butt. Low rise, boot cut or wide leg seem to be my favorite. If the waist comes up to high you will see the flatness of the buttocks. Also, shirts must come down to the hip bone and no tucking in, I don’t like it and it’s uncomfortable. (I haven’t tucked in a shirt since the 7th grade.) This specific style translates to countless frustrating shopping hours of not finding pants that fit correctly.
When I started gaining weight it mostly went to my belly which created my dilemma of only having one pair of work pants and one pair of jeans that would semi fit my new found curves. If I get pants that fit my butt, hips, and thighs correctly the waist would be too tight creating the dreaded muffin top. If I got pants that fit my waist they would be too baggy in the thighs, hips, and butt creating what I like to refer to as "soggy bottom boys". This was a problem.
A few months ago I found a pair of khaki pants that fit snug in the waist, but looked decent for the other parts. I thought, “Oh I’ll just lose some weight and the waist will be fine”. Yeah right. I love how I buy clothes for a body I don’t have. I haven’t worn them in three months because I had to start unbuttoning them at my desk during work. Not good. So I gave them up knowing that my lower intestines would thank me.
This morning I was tired of hoping the guys I work with wouldn’t notice that I wear the same pants all the time so I tried the khakis on again and presto! They actually fit! Woohoo! And no muffin top! I was so excited that I ran downstairs and woke Kyle up at 6:30am and made him celebrate with me. So now I’m making you celebrate with me! Yay for old pants fitting and yay for ninja fingers!